The Undead Reign

A New Leaf

May 15th, 2023 at 12:15 AM

I recently got some necessary things to start gardening! So, on Wednesday I went out with my mom and gramma to get some pots, tomato seeds (specifically sweetie tomatoes), cilantro seeds, and spearmint seeds!! I couldn't start right away because I didn't have any soil or any idea of how to start. But I've always wanted to garden/farm for such a long time, and now I get to do it! Sure, I'll have bumps and bruises in my journey, but it's a learning process.

Anyway, I got some more stuff from Home Depot on Saturday with my dad, including a little greenhouse starter kit for my seeds that I'm gonna house them in until they show some growth. I also got some thyme from there and decided against starting the spearmint since the lovely gal who helped us said that it was invasive. I'm not skilled enough to take on a crop that would grow everywhere (I'm in your walls-ass plant). I'm glad she told us, though, because I'd hate to find that out on my own and have a meltdown and give up on something I've been wanting to do since I was little. I also "harvested" some strawberry seeds from some store-bought strawbs and put them on a moist paper towel and put em in a quart sized baggie to germinate.

Honestly, gardening/farming/homesteading is kind of a special interest of mine. I'll need to get some farm-related stamps to put on my stamps page...

So my plan for the spearmint seeds, then, is to donate them to my previous internship placement. They have a more stable garden than I do, and I bet they can take care of it better than I would (I wonder if I can volunteer to take care of the garden...). With that, I also want to donate some clothes I don't wear to them instead of dropping it at a Goodwill. The agency serves underserved youth and their families, so I want to be able to give them a chance rather than my clothes possibly ending up in the bins and then the landfill. Hopefully I can go on Wednesday to do that since I do have an in-person advising appointment that day. Plus, I'd be able to see my kiddos.

I'll be updating more on my farming journey as time goes on.

Til neste gang!

Hobbies and Their Importance

Jan. 16th, 2023 at 6:37 PM

I think it's a good thing to have something that interrupts your day for good reason. Hobbies can range from something you can do in the comfort of your home to the outside world. I feel like people nowadays don't find the use in hobbies because we're so fixed on how we're gonna be making money. Not everything has to be a monetized medium. That takes out the joy of doing something. The topic of making your hobby monetizable is a different topic for a different post, though.

We are so consumed by the digital realm that hobbies such as knitting, crochet, pen pals, and reading are becoming lost in translation. Why do all that when we can go on Aliexpress, Romwe, or Shien? Ever heard of Instagram? Why do we have to read long books when we have reels and TikTok? These questions are painfully mocking me as I try to regain my passion for reading and being off of my phone. It's actually very sad going on social media now because I don't feel like it's satisfying anymore.

Satisfaction is limitless with hobbies; especially those away from the screen. I have recently picked up diamond/rhinestone "painting" and it's very fun to just busy my mind and hands with something that doesn't revolve around social media. I'm also pen pal'ing some friends of mine pretty soon, so I'm very excited about that. I wholeheartedly believe that my friendships will grow much stronger in the pursuit of writing them than using social media.

Hobbies keep you busy and lets you have a reason to look forward to something. I found that when I didn't indulge in hobbies, I would be very bored and want to just go to the next day. Hopefully I can take up crocheting or knitting so I can have more than just journaling, bedazzling, and reading. It would also be fun to send little projects to my pen pals! That's what I'm talking about: the reason to look forward to something.

These little things are important because keeping your mind busy is much healthier than mindlessly scrolling through your Instagram or TikTok feeds. Even something small could benefit the hungry mind, like reading a short story or something along those lines. Just do something!!! Get off of that damned phone!

I hope to write about social media and parasocial relationships very soon in light of me starting to write letters to my friends, and it's just been a topic I've been wanting to speak on. I may also revisit this topic if there's more I want to say when I've spent more time with my hobbies.

Til neste gang!

Food and Growing Up

Jan. 9th, 2023 at 9:48 PM

Growing up not being taught how to cook is something I had to go through. I sit in this world, 20 years old, not knowing how to cook, let alone grocery shop for myself unless it's pre-made stuff I can pop in the microwave or let sit on the stove. It feels like I don't know anything about real life and I'm supposed to have all this experience because of societal expectations.

I recognize my privilege in this type of life. Not everyone has the means to live it for many different reasons, and I don't expect anyone to relate to my experiences. Not being taught how to cook has led me to adopt some pretty unhealthy mannerisms in how I look at food and how I consume it. I have gone through many phases of disordered eating and looking at my body through the lens of "I'm not good enough."

It doesn't help that my family talks about food, diets, weight, and calories in excess. It's almost too triggering to be anywhere else but my room when those conversations arise. But it's so strange because I don't even know how to cook for myself. Meanwhile, the people around me know what's going on in terms of nutrition facts and all that. They've been cooking for many years, and knew how to cook by the time they were my age or younger. It's just not fair at all, but I don't even know where to start.

Another disadvantage is not having a steady source of income. I am a full time college student who is about to be taking an internship position, so there leaves little to no time to fit in a job when I still have to worry about my studies. I haven't had a job ever in my life either, so I don't know what I'm getting myself into. A seasonal position like Spirit would be nice down the line, though. But for the meantime, I don't have that source of income in order to get myself the necessary groceries and produce needed for an adequate meal or two.

My last resort is looking up recipes online. That, or using cookbooks. I would much rather use the latter since I am trying to distance myself from modern media, hence this LiveJournal. Plus, I just like collecting books and I've had an obsession with collecting cookbooks ever since I was a child. Strange how that is, yet I don't know how to cook.

I will start small. I have plans to make farfalle pasta with creamy vodka sauce, topped with warm cherry tomatoes. I have yet to decide upon a protein, but it will most likely be a vegan protein. Some plans moving forward are to prepare over easy eggs with avocado toast, and spam musubi with my darling.

Til neste gang!

How the Internet Changed Me

Jan. 8th, 2023 at 3:45 PM

(Reposted from my WireClub)

The internet has been a part of my everyday life ever since, what, 2008? That's when I first remember ever having any memory of a social media, even if it was just through the SPORE forums. I could still chat with others and build a reputation. For better or for worse, I would go on to create a deviantART account way before I was even supposed to. I got into little controversies here and there, and that was because I wanted my online friends to notice me. The parasocial relationships started early on, making my stomach churn whenever a new post would come up. Why was I so insistent on making sure these people liked me? I was just a kid.

This followed me all throughout my life. I would change how I would act online and what interests I would have just so that I would be noticed by people I wanted to get closer to. I'm still guilty of that today, but at a lesser degree in which I take what resonates and leave the rest, which technically isn't the same as what I've done in the past.

My brain chemistry is absolutely insane because of the internet and what kind of media I chose to consume. Hell, even normal everyday life is skewed because of my choice in media consumption. I personally believe that life would be better for me if I didn't take steps to further myself into the digital realm. I have well above 5 email accounts because I wanted to make a scene for myself on YouTube and other digital platforms.

I've also learned a few good things while on the internet. Do not trust people that easily. I have been let down and taken advantage of multiple times in my life, and I'm still pushing through some very fresh scars. If I were to ever want kids (I do not want kids), I would not raise them to be in front of a screen all day every day. My worst fear is to have someone younger in my family or someone I just care about to go through anything that would make them feel like a lesser being on this plane of existence like I have.

I have more thoughts on this, but I'll have to revisit sometime down the line. Ciao!